areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
