jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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