we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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