We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
