So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
