Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
