Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
