Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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