I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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