my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
