Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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