just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
