So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
