It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
