i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
