what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
