State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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