He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
