Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
