I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
