that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize