I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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