I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It was confusing and full of hummus
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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