and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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