kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
