I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
