oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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