I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
