can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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