Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
