Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
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Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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