i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
