the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I want a musical about memes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
