tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
