In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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