hotel room ftw
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Me too!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
