This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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