I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
