I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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