Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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