tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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