omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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