Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
