There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
