I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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