mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This house was built for laser tag.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
