someone threw a dead crab at me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
