I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
