He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
