I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
