worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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