are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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