Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
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So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
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Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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