Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Define "chronic" masturbator.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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