Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
