I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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