Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
