All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
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I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
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i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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