God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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