I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
