walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize