I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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