Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
