Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
