Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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