Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
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