your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
