can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
