Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
