i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
