I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
it glows. i had to have it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
