remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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