Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my shit smells like andre
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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